Qualtaghs, Velleities

Hey, you reading this. Happy New Year. (Not you, China. You'll have your chance.)
Oh, well, I guess I'm about 27 days too late for that...

Isn't it only appropriate, then, that the words relate to the New Year? Yes, I think so too.

Qualtaghs-
Justin- A rare breed of hippo
Kevin- A measurement of time equivalent to how long it takes Jessie to fill her daily selfie quote
Jessie- Elephants with Cholera
Mom- A number of cattle in a newly started herd
Dad- The best fly for catching Argentinean Brown in a river
Kimmy- The Achievement of ultimate understanding of all things blue.

Some words just seem so obscure, and their definition so random, which I thought immediately about this word. Then I researched it a bit and found the true story behind it.
Qualtagh refers to the first person you meet after the New Year.
Qualtagh comes from a dialect of Gaelic known as Manx, spoken on the Isle of Man. (Pictured) The Manx language is slowly dying, despite many attempts to revive it. It is very well-documented, so we'll never fully lose it.

Why, you ask, is there possibly a word for that? Well, let me tell you a little story:
The word Qualtagh literally means, in Manx, "First Foot". It is a popular superstition that if your Qualtagh is a dark-haired man, you will have good luck for the year. Alternatively, if your Qualtagh was a female, too bad. Not-So-Good luck for you. And a red-head? The worst of luck will be upon you. Sorry.
Not only are Qualtaghs people that you meet right after the New Year, but also people that women meet immediately after leaving home after being stuck taking care of a newborn.
All of the BeeGee's were/are Manx people. Fun fact.

Velleities:
Justin- A restaurant for Jedi's
Kevin- The feeling of helplessness against overwhelming stupidity
Jessie- A leaf shaped like a foot
Mom- The unions that support Parking Valets
Dad- The bugs in software when programmers don't have enough coffee
Kimmy- The hairs on the legs of insects.

Alright. We're all guilty of it. We start on a New Year's Resolution, only to never actually make any progress on it. You know, the whole "Oh, I'm going to start going to the gym this year. I'll research gyms right now." And then, you proceed to use all your time on the internet liking pictures of cats on Facebook.
That's a Velleity.  Here, I'll make a chart for you, most productive to least productive:

◄--(Starting immediately)---------------------(Procrastination)-----------------------------------------(Velleities)---►

Marketer Matt Bailey described a Velleity as such: "A desire to see something done, but not enough desire to do something about it."
Surprisingly, Velleity comes from the same word as its opposite, Volition. Both of these words come from the Latin verb velle, meaning to wish. Volition, though, comes directly from the "Me" conjugation, Volo.  Benevolent also comes from the same word, meaning "well-wishing"

Impecunious, Hoarfrost

*sigh* It's that time of year, isn't it... The time where you walk outside to the brisk air, only to slip on ice. The time of shaking all the hoarfrost off the plants in your garden. The time of gift giving, but more importantly (and expensively), gift buying. You watch your wallet slowly cripple with hunger, but to no avail. It moans for more cash, but, shame, you spent all your money on presents, you poor, impecunious being.

Hoarfrost:
Mom: Ice that forms instantaneously on muddy ground
Dad:
Kevin: Frost that only occurs on trees
Justin: Frost that only occurs on a horse

Okay. Close your eyes. Now imagine frost on the ground. Imagine frost on the window. Imagine Frosty the Snowman. Imagine Frosty in a bikini. Now open your eyes. I'm on a centaur.  This blog is brought to you by Old Spice.
Anyway, back to frost. Don't you always feel so bad for your plants that are all outside in the snow, and they're always covered in that really cool frost? That frost is known as Hoarfrost (left), and it's a less common version of "regular" frost. What's so special about Hoarfrost is that it comes about by water in the air freezing to the currently-frozen plant. When the wind blows the moisturized air into the ice, some of that water in the air gets frozen to the plant and it builds and it builds and it builds and it builds. When freezing temperatures converge with fog, however, the result is a phenomenon called "Rime Formations" (below)

The word Hoarfrost, though it has no clear etymology, appears in the Bible. 
"He giveth snow like wool; he spreadeth the hoarfrost like ashes" -KJV Psalm 147:16.


Impecunious:
Mom: Having no taste, tasteless
Dad:
Kevin: Utterly forgettable
Justin: Disturbing

Don't you hate talking to your friends (or strangers at the bus stop) and then have to explain that you have no money, but you don't want to say the word "broke"? Well now, for the low low price of $19.99, you can use the word Impecunious to avoid saying that your pockets are hole-y. Because they are synonyms after all.
The word Impecunious comes to us from none other than the Latin-speakers. Yes, the Romans and their many words... They obviously didn't want Jesus, Alexander the Great, and Cleopatra knowing their weakness of no-money syndrome, so they made this word that others wouldn't understand.*
Anyway, the Latin word pecunious means money, and that combined with im-, meaning not, you now have the word that is synonymous with Not Money. Language!

*That's all a lie. None of those lived in the same time period. I'm funny.

Assonance, Zeugmas, and Paraprosdokians

Recently, while surfing the web, I came across some words regarding language (Assonance, Zeugmas, and Paraprosdokians), and how it may be portrayed in poetry, metaphors, and humor, respectively. These aren't words that you can use in daily conversation, but may just be good words to know.

So what is Assonance? Assonance is a form of poetry where the same sound is repeated over and over. This could be a set of vowels, a set of consonants, or a combination of both.
In English, there are two common lines involving Assonance:

How now, Brown Cow?  and  The Rain in Spain falls Mainly on the Plain

Assonance is simply alliteration of sounds and syllables instead of specific letters.
A more "severe" form of this poetry is Univocalic Style. Guess why.          No, go ahead. Guess. I bet you're wrong.
Univocalic Poetry is when the author uses only one vowel, (A, E, I, O, or U) and no other. I can see that being really difficult. Here, let me try:

Gordon cooks food:

Wow, good food.

Josh cooks food:

Poor food.

I guess it wasn't as difficult as I thought... But Reverse Univocalic. That's really difficult, like this classic example:

How quickly can you find out what is so unusual about this paragraph? It looks so ordinary that you would think that nothing is wrong with it at all, and, in fact, nothing is. But it is unusual. Why? If you study it and think about it, you may find out, but I am not going to assist you in any way. You must do it without coaching. No doubt, if you work at it for long, it will dawn on you. Who knows? Go to work and try your skill. Par is about half an hour.

That paragraph contained no E's. How does one even do that?
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Zeugmas are a pretty cool figure of speech where you combine a metaphoric reference with a literal one, and tie it all together. For example, with weeping eyes and hearts, or You are free to execute your laws, and your citizens, as see fit.*
While researching this, I found my favorite one in the comments section of an article:
"Hitmen are expensive, so she took out a loan and her husband."
Also, there's basically no information on this, so let's move on, shall we?

*That one was from a Star Trek episode. Fun Fact.
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Paraprosdokians, otherwise known as the most annoying word to spell, are actually a really fun figure of wordplay. It's been used multiple times by well-known names, such as Stephen Colbert, Winston Churchill, Groucho Marx, Aristotle, and, of course, Homer Simpson.
So what is a Paraprosdokian? Well, if you figure that Para- means Against, and Prosdokia- means Expectation, you can assume that it means Something Unexpected. And that's exactly what it is. A Paraprosdokian is a phrase with an unexpected turn at the end, normally humorous. For instance:
"You can always count on Americans to do the right thing--After trying everything else first." -Winston Churchill

Now, what's interesting is that every so often, you get a Paraprosdokian that plays on a word and a different meaning on that same word, like: Time flies like an arrow, while fruit flies like a banana. This is playing off the word "Fly", using it as both a verb and a noun. Does that sound familiar at all? I should hope so, because this Paraprosdokian is actually a form of a Zeugma! Yes! That word you just learned! Except that these also go by another name: Garden Path Sentences:

Garden Path Sentences are forms of Zugmas and Paraprosdokians, but a bit more complex. For example, try to make sense of the following sentence.

The old man the boat.

It's a bit confusing, right? But if you think about it, and after you splice the sentence (make it more clear), you end up with something along the lines of "The boat was manned by the Elderly"
The name "Garden Path Sentences" comes from the saying "To be led down the garden path", rather, "To mislead"

Wintercearig

What a great word, Wintercearig. (Win-ter-sherry)  I'm sure that you can guess what this adjective means, but can other people?

Mom: A Gaelic word. A jaunty, frolicky manner

Dad: Dark and Gloomy

Kevin: Having snowman-like features

Justin: Dressed with respect to the season

Jessie: Someone who goes down chimneys. (I think she didn't want to create an adjective.)

Kimmy: Disappointing, in reference to when it rains (as opposed to snowing)

Oh, what sorrow for Wintercearig people. It's sad, don't you think, when someone is brought down in the dumps by a Christmas-y, snowy Winter...

Then again, I am very Wintercearig when it snows and, I mean, you have to go out in the snow, right? But then you come back in and you sit your bones down by the fire, but you're still cold on the inside... And that kinda sucks. You know what else puts me in a Wintercearig mood? The greediness that lies within all people during the Christmas shopping season. 

Anyway, Wintercearig.

This word comes to us with many thanks to Alemania, rather, Germany. I mean, I'm guessing you can figure out what Winter means... But the Cearig? Where does that come from? Well, it actually derives from the Proto-Germanic* root Karagaz, which means Anxious or Wary. What's more, the English word Chary, which also means Wary.

So yeah. Wintercearig.

*The most "recent" version of the language

Pro-Tip: Compliment/Thank all your cashiers whenever you go shopping because they probably had a really rough day!!!

Thanksgiving Special!

Ah, Thanksgiving. The holiday dedicated to eating, with a brutal history. I love spending time with my family, gaffing in a huge group. Staring at the immense Farrago on my plate. Of course, afterward, I always feel cloyed because I am so farctated.

Oh, sorry. Did none of that make sense? I guess I should tell you, huh...

Let's start in order, yeah?

To Gaff (pronounced Gaef) is actually to just talk in a loud, rude manner. Face it. We all know someone who gaffs all the time. For some, it's their Uncle or their Aunt, for some, it's their English teacher.....
You know, the Old English had a term, Gafspaec, meaning Blasphemous Speech, but it eventually turned into a place: The Halls of Blasphemous Speech, like High School.

A Farrago (accent on the first syllable). That's a fun word I'll be using more often. Why? Well, because it means "A Really Confusing Mixture." I mean, again, it applies to High School. Or Thanksgiving dinner.
But what's most interesting is where this word comes from. Far- is a Latin root meaning Grain. Now why is that relevant? Well in the 16th century, the Grains used to feed the animals was called, amazingly enough, Farrago. So when you think about it, that's what this modern version represents.

Another one I figure you would like to know over break is the word Cloy. It might have to do with Tryptophan in Turkey that you commonly hear about. I mean, it may have a connection. That's because Cloy means to become tired from excess of food. Aka Thanksgiving.

Now this has a pretty complicated story behind it. Cloy comes from Cloyen (To Hinder), which comes from Accloyen (To Fasten), which comes from Encloer (To Stop), which comes from Inclavere (To Nail). But here's the kicker. Inclavere means something along the lines of speeding up a horse by nailing horseshoes onto it. But if Cloy means to Hinder... Hmm...

Farctate is a synonym of Cloy.
And yeah. I'm tired

Some words.

It's still a bit early for Thanksgiving words, which will probably also be next week, but I'm still going to do one relating to food. Sue me.

Tarantism: Does it mean:
The Act of behaving like a Spider, or
The Glass in between the Liquids in the Glow Stick, or
The process of extracting Viruses from your computer?

Fun fact: It's none of those.
Tarantism is actually a pretty obscure word. You know how there are some things that you just think "Why is there a word for that?" That was basically my thought process when I found this word.
Have you ever been in public or out on the Ultimate Frisbee field or in the movie theater or in the car or on your bed or falling asleep or basically anywhere and you just wanted to break out some moves and shake it loose and dance and grind and pirouette and prance and gambol?
I hate to break it to you, but you've just been Tarantised. Oh yeah, it's an epidemic. Mainly an epidemic that causes you to want to burst out dancing!
What if everyone was affected by Tarantism?
This word comes around thanks to Europe: Southern Italy, actually. Down there, where they speak a dialect of "New Latin," some people have come up with this word. Probably because they come from the town of Taranto. (Not to be confused with Toronto, but I suppose they could be related...)
I mean, they obviously didn't create this word for this precise definition.
It actually has to do with the Wolf Spider. Yes, the humble, nightmare-inducing Lycosa Tarantula  would often bite people with a poison that caused erratic movements. So when there was a massive Lycosa infestation from the 14th to 17th centuries, it probably resembled a medieval Harlem Shake.
Now Tarantism is known as Sydenham's Chorea.


Degust: Could it mean:
To Burp after a meal, or
To Clean your toenails while watching TV?

Oh, and I guess it's also a Company in Italy...

Neither of those either... Come on, guys...
I hope you all Degust all your food in a couple weeks. I mean, that is the point of Thanksgiving, right? To eat, savoring every single bite? At least, that's what I'm going to do.
Any Spanish or Latin speaker can inform you that gustar, and its other forms, mean To Like or To Taste. Also, if they speak Latin, they can tell you that de- means off, or apart. So, yeah, I guess it would literally mean something along the lines of "To Taste something apart", or "To Enjoy every bite".

Autumny Words!

Immensikoff: 
Kevin: A relatively small sneeze.
Dad: Like Emancipation? A man's cough. A programming style.
Mom: A really small water sprite
Scotty: A giant Russian

You know, eventually, we will reach a day when we all bring our very important Immensikoffs to school. But, I mean, that's pretty logical. After all, we'd be pretty chilly without our fur-lined coats. Oh- I guess people don't have money to buy fancy coats anymore. Oh well.
Anyway, this word comes from a short story by Arthur Morrison called A Lucifo Match. In this magazine publishing, a young boy pick-pockets from the rich, mainly large opulent men wearing these Immensikoffs. It was written in 1909.

Immensikoff is a very Slavic word. It is relevant to Yiddish, German, and Russian:
The Yiddish are credited as the creators of the word, but mainly because they were jealous of all the wealthy Germans.
The German word Kopf means Head, and Immense means the same thing. So it was a slight nod towards the big-headed German money-lords.
Finally, they decided to insult the Russians, too. Because why not? Have you ever realized that many Russian names end in -kov. So did the Yiddish. Which is why they put -koff at the end of the word.

I can't find a video file anywhere on the interwebs, but a man named Arthur Lloyd wrote a song called Immensikoff, and it's exactly what it sounds like it would be about. A large rich man with a big coat.

Filemot:
Kevin: The possibility of being reincarnated as a chicken
Dad: A dry-fly used for brook trout in high mountain lakes in the early Autumn
Mom cheated because she lived in Denmark for a while so she speaks some French and asked me to spell it.
Scotty: A rather large argument about a relatively small matter

So do you want to know what this highly-pertinent word means? Of course you do! Why wouldn't you?! After all, it is autumn words! It's the best combination of things!
Filemot is simply the color of dead, decaying leaves. Also known as the color of this font. It's not quite the color of the radiant red or orange leaves, but it is the nice brown color. I actually think that this is my favorite color of brown. It's light, but not too light. The Goldilocks Brown.
Filemot, or if you prefer the French spelling, Feuillemorte comes, amazingly, from French! Yes! It comes from the roots Feuille- which is a Leaf and -Morte, meaning Death. So if this beautiful color of brown was a crayon, it would be called "Death Leaf".
See, whenever I research the roots, I try and figure out other words with the same roots. Morte- is pretty simple: Mortal, Immortal, etc. But when I came across Feuille-, I was really confused. But then it dawned on me. If that means Leaf, then Foliage must come from the same word, and possibly even Flower?

It's pretty interesting, really. This word was first used in Lewis Wallace's Christian novel, Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ in 1880. Just a fun fact.
"Each compartment crowded with labelled folios all filemot with age and use"