Slang Victorian-Era language, thanks to Mental_Floss

I would like to thank Mental_Floss, specifically Erin McCarthey and Andrew Forrester. In 1909, Andrew Forrester, under the fake name James Ware, took note of so incredibly many slang words from the 1870's.  And thanks to some of these words that are totally bang up to the elephant*, they might totally make you fifteen-puzzled**. But please, if you don't understand any of these and get frustrated with me, do not shake a flannin with me.***
I really like these phrases. I mean...

• For example, did you know that a rain napper is a totally so-much-better way to say umbrella?
• I can guarantee you that people use their Sauce-Box every day.  And, you ask, what is a sauce-box? Well, it's your mouth, of course!
• You'd be making a stuffed bird laugh if you didn't know that this phrase meant something absolutely absurd.
• Some say that I, Josh, have a gigglemug. That's right. I have a face that smiles out of habit.
• Well, damfino what this word means. I lied. I actually do know that this means. It's a pretty convenient contraction for damned if I know.
• I know some of the "jammiest bits of jam". Don't you guys agree that I go to school with "the prettiest, most perfect young women".

I'm sorry if these wonderful phrases made you get the morbs, rather, made you temporarily sad and melancholy, but I just find them so wonderful and exciting and it just makes me happy and they are so lovely and please don't mind this run-on sentence, but I just love words and these phrases make me so happy and I love it  because they are lovely things.

*Perfect and complete

**Complete, utter confusion

***Oh my goodness, I have to use this phrase more with people.  Unfortunately, I am not one who likes to fight.